Ugh. Where do I begin?
Let’s start with the positives:
No one fell on their ass at any point in the telecast.
No one said anything extremely stupid during the final question round.
Miss Great Britain ended a 30-year drought for British women at Miss Universe. Do you remember around the turn of the millennium, when there were editions of Miss Universe that didn’t have a British entry?
Thomas Roberts and Melanie Brown looked pretty good and did as well as they could with the corny script. I do wish that they had taken their time more with announcing the winner.
Now, the negatives:
I watched the live telecast online earlier today, and even as Miss Venezuela got the crown (eventually), I was confused as hell at the results. It wasn’t until I returned from shopping hours later that I learned that, in fact, Maria Gabriela de Jesus Isler Morales had won, even though I felt like I had seen her look hundreds of times before in international pageants. At least Miss Brazil was a refreshing change of pace from the Michella Marchi clones that had represented Brazil at MU for a decade and a half. I can only conclude that part of Maria Gabriela’s win came from the fact that Telemundo was angling for a Latina winner after two consecutive years of Latin disappointment, with the Hispanoamerican massacre at Miss Universe 2011 (where none of the power Latinas made it past the round of 16 and the Venezuelan who DID represented the fly-by-night pageant country of Portugal) and further disappointment at Miss Universe 2012, when Miss Mexico wore that god-awful red knickers/dress and Irene Esser sounded like she had one too many eggnogs.
I cannot believe how deep the Agalarov family sunk their claws into this sucker. The dad owns Crocus City Hall, the contestants had a spa day at his joint, his wife Irina was a preliminary judge, and his son performed some really lame songs. My only relief in this regard was that neither Miss Azerbaijan nor Miss Russia placed.
Who won Miss Congeniality? Who won Miss Photogenic? Have they been discontinued?
Miss Great Britain made the top 10, but she should have gone further. I thought that she did a spectacular job throughout the competition. (Hell, I thought that Miss France and Miss Israel were robbed. I had them in my final five, along with Ariella, Amy, and Patricia.)
Of the final five, it SHOULD have been Miss Philippines and Miss Spain in the final two. I don’t know what the judges and MUO were smoking that could convince them that Ariella did not deserve at worst third place. Ariella actually ANSWERED her question. Maria Gabriela didn’t even answer hers.
There was a huge disconnect between the judges’ scores posted on-line and what actually transpired on stage. I don’t know what judging system they used. It would have made more sense to show the judges’ scores during the telecast and explain how everything would go down. I am still confused as hell.
I do wish that some reference had been made to Russia’s homophobic laws, even if was indirectly.
Aside from the set and a few Russian phrases, there was nothing to suggest that this was being held in Russia. They might as well have held this at the Russian Tea Room.
Do you think that if every participating country/territory at Miss Universe scheduled their preparations and pageants to coincide with Venezuela’s, the gap could narrow? I don’t hate Maria Gabriela, and I think that with time she will come into her own and look less like the latest Osmel Sousa factory creation that MUO practically has an (expletive) over, but I am jealous that she and her ilk have been able to have almost a year to get ready. What would happen if Miss USA, Miss France, Miss Philippines, and their ilk had a year to get ready for Miss Universe?
Even Miss World 2013, with its “whore contest” protests and results-show-as-opposed-to-performance-show emphasis, was a lot better than this.
I can’t seem to find enough time to blog these days.
Either someone hires me or the kitten gets it.
Alexander Dagamina Sarmiento
ALEXANDER D. SARMIENTO
2120 Lusitano Drive
Fairfield, CA 94534
Home: (707) 759-3989
Cell: (707) 342-0572
JOB OBJECTIVE: Office/File Clerk, Office Assistant, Receptionist, Bookstore/Library Assistant, Customer Service Assistant, or General Assistant
SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS
City College of San Francisco - San Francisco, CA - 2000-2004
Awarded Associates of Art Degree in General Education
Awarded Certificate of Completion in Italian
International Studies Academy - San Francisco, CA - 1996-2000
Awarded High School Diploma
Pledge Volunteer, KQED - San Francisco, CA - 1998-2002
Security Personnel, Westaff - San Francisco, CA - Oct 2006
Freelance Menu Collector, Campusfood.com - Headquarters in New York, NY - Mar 2007
Freelance Distributor, The Karpel Group - Headquarters in New York, NY - Jun 2007
Question Writer, Brainstormer Inc. - San Francisco, CA - Mar 2010-Mar 2011
Well versed in Internet, and some knowledge of French, German, Italian, and Spanish
Available upon request
My iPod Touch, with which I used the Internet when I wasn’t on the computer, finally wore out its usefulness. It still worked, but it wasn’t as strong as it could be, namely because the reset button didn’t work for shit and I needed it to work if I wanted to jailbreak it again. Before you say anything, it was a iPod Touch 2G, so the warranty had already expired. I no longer have a portable WiFi-capable device. I sent it to Gazelle, and I am set to receive $18.90 in Amazon credit in a few days.
In addition, I’ve lately become obsessed with Roku. I got $100 from my godmother, and I decided to put it towards a Roku 2 SX because I’m cheap. :-) Seriously, whenever I get that much money in one sitting, I end up spending it on more affordable things as opposed to more expensive, recent, high-end, top-of-the-line things. The latest Rokus are about $100. Mine cost $60 at Radio Shack. So far, I’m having a blast with it. No, I’m not using Netflix or Hulu Plus, but I am getting a lot of television channels from around the world. The one main drawback is that there isn’t ENOUGH.